What kind of plants live with me aka me colonizing plants

peacelily-jasmineadnauseam

This is Lilian. She's sort of temperamental and I'm not sure why her leaves are curling, I suspect that it's because it's sort of too hot for her, but lately she's been doing quite well and she's even unfurled a few leaves and only one baby leaf turned yellow and died. So in that sense, I suppose we've reached equilibrium in that she, an indoor peace lily plant who would prefer an east-facing room, still shows off her color for me, her captor, who put her in a northwest facing room.

Lilian is the most impressive (see: biggest) of the lot and that's why I put her in this fancy plant stand that I bought at Ross for $15. I considered DIYing a copper pipe plant stand but after I gave myself a second-degree glue gun burn from DIY a cute rug, I decided to hold off on projects. 

Now that I think about it though, I should continue on the DIY streak I'm on because I have health insurance and when Drake said YOLO he specifically meant, YO BITCH GET YOUR DIY ON YOU LIVING YOU ARE INSURED YAZ. 

 I bought Lilian at Home Depot for a pretty reasonable price maybe. (wtf is a reasonable price for a living thing?) What I should've done was searched a public space maybe and just take a cutting and grow her from scratch or from seed but a bitch isn't patient. When you recently move into your new favorite home and you've watched 165 home decor videos on YouTube you can't fucking wait for a goddamn plant to grow. 

Home Depot knows this. Home Depot has plants ready to go, ready to suck up all your water and sit in an extra cute plant stand. 

 

fullsizeoutput_435f.jpeg

This is a cactus on the right who I really haven't named yet and Butter. I bought Butter at the flea market when I was itching for some greenery in our new place. I don't know what kind of plant he is but he was $6 and he's been asking for a better planter to flourish in.

I just water him sometimes I don't really have a schedule of watering. I usually check his and all the other plants every morning and if their dirt feels dry I give them a good dousing. I liked the way his leaves looked at the flea market and so I paid for him fair and square. He's also sprouting some leaves and they seem to be popping off quickly. Butter seems pretty low maintenance.

(Either that or he's literally begging to be high maintenance and I'm clueless. *shrug emoji*) I'm not sure if he would be happier outdoors. But that's something I wonder about myself too. Would I be happier outdoors?

The cactus is one of two that I bought at Compadres Mall during a plant sale in the parking lot. I like that the lady who sold it to me  because she chewed buuch (or betelnut) and had a marmar. He's a very erect cactus and he used to lean toward the right for a while, I think I gave him too much water. I've since been putting him where he'd get more light and starving him of water and it seems like he's taken to that.  I think he's a bit of a masochist in that way I suppose. 

A new development since I bought him: he's growing literal baby balls on the bottom of him. 

fullsizeoutput_4361.jpeg

This is Fern, she's a fern. She's the star of the show around here. (Don't tell Lilian, because she'll literally crumble if she finds out that someone is better than her. She has a lot of self-esteem issues.) Fern is supposed to be a hanging plant and the lady who sold her to me at the flea market said she's an outdoor plant but here I am defying all the rules and putting her on a bench thing INDOORS. She's not hanging on to anything. Except she's hanging on for dear life. AYOO DAD JOKES ABOUT PLANTS.

Fern is super low maintenance and she literally stretches toward the sun with all her leaves. I am very excited to see her tendrils come all the way down like Rapunzel. I might figure out a way to hang her too but I'm renting and I can't put holes in the wall unless I want to give up my security deposit. (Fun fact: I don't.)

If you're wondering what that pink thing is in the background, that's a makeup sponge that I washed and for some ungodly reason decided to put in that spot to dry maybe an hour before I decided I wanted to take photos of my plants. 

fullsizeoutput_4362.jpeg

Lastly, we have another unnamed cactus who I put in our bathroom. Right now he's out in the living room with everyone else and my crystals, soaking up the beautiful sun but I'll put him back in there with a candle. 

He's cool because he doesn't need water I don't think. You can see from the photo that some of his balls broke off and I'm not sure if that's a cry for help or if that's just him shedding his skin and you know letting go of what doesn't serve him anymore. 

Anyway, those are my plants! I want to add more, maybe some bamboo and some pathos and maybe a flower. I intend to do some Fränkenplanting and experimenting so I'll write about that too. 

Moral of this story: Don't watch home improvement/DIY YouTube videos or search DIY home decor on Pinterest unless you have the patience to grow something from a seed. 

 Here's a cute photo of Fern I took from outside. Again, please don't tell Lilian that Fern photographs well. 

Here's a cute photo of Fern I took from outside. Again, please don't tell Lilian that Fern photographs well.